Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About
by Bendleshnitz
Summary: I think the title says enough to read it; but a full explanation is above the short text. It's short and funny. Hope you like it. -Not Betaed- I'll be updating each month. WIP! June: Teddy Lupin, Lee Jordan and Sirius Black
1. March 2010: Arthur, Draco & Seamus

**Author's Note/Explanation:** There's a community in livejournal called _the_playwitch_. It's like a Playboy but for girls and concerning the Wizarding World, of course. Each month there will be three gorgeous wizards for us to drool over. There will be art, fics and special features. This is a special feature I wrote. You know all these teen magazines that have these silly things. I thought it would be funny to say five hot things about these hot men. ;) Hope you like it and we'll see what comes next month (April Wizards: Viktor Krum, Lucius Malfoy, Hugo Weasley)

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**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Arthur Weasley**

1) Arthur melts at the sight of red underwear.

2) Wall!sex is his favourite position.

3) Mr. Weasley finds over-sized t-shirts incredibly arousing.

4) Four of his kids were conceived when his wife was wearing one. "After the twins, she threw the shirt away," he recalls with a booming laugh. "If only she knew I stored it in my shed!"

5) His shoe size is ten. You do the math, girls.

**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Draco Malfoy**

1) His first time was at the age of sixteen.

2) Draco has a patch of freckles on the right cheek of his bum.

3) He was caught having sex with his wife in the parking lot of a muggle restaurant called McDonalds.

4) Mr. Malfoy is known to be very kinky in the bedroom. Whipped cream, furry handcuffs and hidden mirrors on the roof are some of the things _The Playwitch_ can affirm are his favourite to use.

5) No shoe-size this time, girls. But it is known that Draco Malfoy has his gloves specially made. Reason? His big hands don't fit even in the biggest size of regular gloves. And you all know what they say about hands...

**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Seamus Finnigan**

1) He had suffered form a muscle tear in his attempt to beat muggle singer Sting's record of eight hours having sex.

2) Seamus prefers women with long, blond hair. "So ya can grab it while at it, ya know?" he explained.

3) Favourite style: sex on a broom.

4) Mr. Finnigan can't go to bed without drinking a shot of Firewhiskey first.

5) _Seamus Finnigan:_ 'Shoe? Hands? Don't give me that crap. Write this down, honey: Irish Man know how to satisfy their women because we have the equipment. How's that?'  
_Interviewer:_ 'Perfect, Mr. Finnigan.'


	2. April 2010: Lucius, Viktor & Hugo

**A/N:** First, read the explanatio at the beginning of the first chapter to understand this better.  
After that, I present you the April's edition (lol) This month the sexy wizards are Lucius, Viktor and Hugo. This will continue next month. May's Wizards: Ron Weasley, Marcus Flint, Terry Boot. :D

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**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Lucius Malfoy**

1) His intentions as a teenager were to marry his wife's sister. "She had great curves," Malfoy says defensively with a cold look.

2) The powerful Malfoy runs in fear at the mention of BDSM.

3) He wants to experiment Food Play (sex with fruits).

4) Lucius' wife, Narcissa, surprised him once with a threesome. "It was the best night of my life," he states; although we are still inquiring about the other person's name.

5) Rumour has it, that Mr. Malfoy wanks before important meetings to reduce stress.

**  
Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Viktor Krum**

1) Being the popular Quidditch star he is, Viktor Krum states that he has never slept with a Quidditch fan.

2) It is known that Krum has experimented sex with men.

3) The favourite part of his body are his thighs. "Well, besides...you know," he clarifies with a secretive smile.

4) Viktor said that the pain getting a tattoo gave him, was totally worthy. Apparently, girls love it as much as their tongues.

5) Rumour has it, that Mr. Krum is an expert...giver.

**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Hugo Weasley**

1) Contrary to popular beliefs, Hugo is a one woman at the time man.

2) He admits he likes to read porn rather than watching it.

3) His most erotic asset are his pierced nipples.

4) Weasley wants to get his member pierced too. "I just have to gather the guts and find a way to avoid my mum reading the paper that week," he said with a chuckle worth of a teenager.

5) Rumour has it, that Mr. Weasley prefers anal sex to any other position.

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Reviews, suggestions and ideas for next month are more than welcome and deeply appreciated.


	3. May 2010: Ron, Marcus & Terry

**A/N:** Hey! Another month, another set of wizards. How this works? It's explained in the first "chapter/month". May's sexy wizards were Ron Weasley, Terry Boot and Marcus Flint. Hope you enjoy! Next month you'll be able to enjoy some dirty secrets of Teddy Lupin, Lee Jordan and Sirius Black!

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**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Ron Weasley**

1- He walked in on his parents once. They were...'experiencing' with a fruit. Poor Ron was scarred for life. "I've never been able to eat or see a banana ever since," he said with a shiver.

2- Red lipstick is an instant turn-on for our lovely redhead.

3- Ron Weasley likes sex with most of his clothes on. "It helps with quicker escapes when you do it in closets," he clarified with a growing blush.

4- Weasley admits he especially can't resist to her wife's body when she's pregnant.

5- Sexiest member of the Hogwarts staff during your Hogwarts years? "Oh...this is awkward. Erm...Madame Pince, I guess. Hermione's gonna kill me when she reads this, but that librarian hid a nice bum under those oversized robes."

**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Marcus Flint**

1- One girlfriend bit his cock during oral sex once. He ended up in the hospital that night.

2- The nurses took _very_ good care of Flint. "Yeah, I got lucky," he stated with a wink.

3- After that experience, Marcus Flint admitted he is into cock and ball torture. Surprised girls?

4- Marcus is a big fan of roleplay. He especially likes when his wife wears her Muggle nun costume.

5- "Coach Hooch. No doubts. She's amazingly bendy for a witch of her age. I talk from experience here, trust me."

**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Terry Boot**

1- Terry admits to have a very sensitive skin. Love-bites are easily spot all over his body.

2- He is a big fan of phone sex, claiming it his favourite kink. "Maybe that's the one Muggle thing I would include to the Wizarding World."

3- Busted! Reliable sources tell us that Mr. Boot dresses up his blowup dolls to match girls that he is crushing.

4- Boot is into boots! "I'm a sucker for stiletto boots. Especially the high-thigh leathery ones," he says with a dreamy smile.

5- Sexiest professor in the Hogwarts staff, Terry? "Not that I've ever think of shagging a professor of course but...McGonagall had this deep, intense gaze that gave me a few complications during Transfiguration, you know?"

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Don't forget to review!

If any of you have any _ideas_ or suggestions of some dirty secrets any wizard could have please tell me! I'm running out of ideas.

Plus, some people suggested making the same for _witches_. What do you think? It won't be part of the community and the idea of The Playwitch but I could do it as a personal project.


	4. May 2010: Teddy, Lee & Sirius

**A/N:** June has come and gone so fast I almost forgot to do this. I'm sorry. I'm running out of ideas guys! (Thank you [url=.net/u/2040045/hangai]hangai[/url] for the ideas!) My creativity has a limit, you see? If any of you have a crazy, sexy fact you want for a wizard, please let me know :)  
Enjoy the delicious wizards of June! Teddy Lupin, Lee Jordan and Sirius Black want some love ;)  
July's wizards will be: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle, Kingsley Shacklebolt. That'll be interesting...  
Anyway, on to the fun! Enjoy! (and don't forget to review! -makes my day)

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**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Teddy Lupin**

1- At twelve years old, George Weasley gave him his first _Playwizard_.

2- To get the magazine, George dared him to ask Harry how many times had he wank before graduating Hogwarts.

3- Teddy Lupin confessed he enjoys experiencing with different appearances during sex. He likes to call it "role play to the next level"

4- Lupin is known to have tried morphing into a woman during sex. Now the question, ladies, is: during that time, his partner was a man or a woman?

5- Favourite sex toy: magical vibrators

**Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Lee Jordan**

1- By his fourth year, Lee Jordan has been awarded among his Gryffindor friends as Master of Wanking. "Not my fault, my teenage hormones went all crazy that year; but I kinda like the title."

2- Jordan, host of a famous radio show, admitted that he had sexual relations while 'On Air'.

3- After some research, _The Playwitch_ found last year's Christmas Special, where a very agitated Lee moans a very pleasurable "Merry Christmas!". Oh, you remember that show? Yes, ladies; we do too.

4- Lee confessed he sometimes uses his scars (and quite exaggerated stories) from the Final Battle to bring young witches to his bed.

5- "I'm sorry, but with my looks and abilities in that area, I don't need the help of any sex toy, thankyouverymuch."  
**  
****Five Sexy Things You Didn't Know About Sirius Black**

1- Sirius Black gain quite some popularity among women during his Hogwarts years. "Women like to talk, y'know? Who am I to deny their curiosity?"

2- There's a rumour about Sirius that _The Playwitch_ is still trying to confirm. Apparently, Black was part of an orgy a couple of times.

3- His bike was the scenery of many sexual encounters. "Chicks love heavy machinery," he added with a wink.

4- It is now well known that Sirius is an animagi. However, not everyone knows he likes to use his abilities during sex. Black has confessed he has some weird "dog/other animal fetish".

5- Still surprised about the last fact? We expect you'll be less surprised when we tell you that Sirius' favourite sex toys are whips and collars. So, to our most kinky readers: we found your man!

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**A/N:** This is for a LJ community. The wizards of every month of 2010 are already stipulated by the mod. The ones that aren't will be part of 2011, I suspect.

Check out when is your favourite wizard's turn:

August: Percy Weasley, Severus Snape, Albus Potter

September: Fred Weasley, Cormac McLaggen, Cedric Diggory

October: George Weasley, Rabastan Lestrange, Roger Davies

November: Bill Weasley, Oliver Wood, Remus Lupin

December: Charlie Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Dean Thomas

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**February 24, 2012 - I'm sorry, everyone**,** but I won't continue this fic. Just wanted to let you know because I've had several people adding it to their Alerts. So I just wanted you to know that there won't be any "alerts". REVIEWS, on the other hand, are ALWAYS more than welcomed. It takes you one minute to make my WHOOOOOLE day amazing :) Review every fic you read. It takes so little to make another person so happy! Try it and spread the love! (not just with me, with every fic/author you read out there). Anywyas, sorry if you were expecting more. I do have other fics to read though :)**


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